Memaw

In my previous post I shared with you that I knew my Memaw would be leaving earth soon. When I posted that I had no idea it would be just a few short hours later when I would get "the dreaded late night phone call" from my dad. I have a million things to do today as we prepare to head south again for Memaw's funeral (or as Jack calls it - her "going to Heaven party")! But, I just have to compose my thoughts because they are a jumbled mess. I feel like after I write this - I will be better able to tackle the rest of my day! So, thanks for reading! And, I apologize ahead of time for how raw this might be. I'm just going to write and stop when I feel satisfied.

Job 1:21 "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

God has taken away my Memaw. He was ready for her. I am sad. We are all sad. But, I am clinging to hope today. Because - yes, he took her away but he GAVE us so much that can NEVER be taken away. I have learned so much from my Memaw and so much of who she was has shaped me into the person I am. I have so many memories and those cannot be taken away.

So, in memory of my Memaw - here are just a few things that will not be taken from me!

• I learned that no matter what life throws at you, you make the most of it and you work hard and persevere. You don't give up. You work hard for those you love and you cling to what you know.
• I will never ever forget the last moment I had with her where she was so feeble in her bed in the nursing home yet she was able to smile the most beautiful smile when she saw her great-grandchildren. She loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren more than anything!
• In those same last moments I was with her I saw her look at my aunt and smile and I SO WISH I had a picture of that but it doesn't matter - it's an image burned in my mind.
• Her smile - that cannot be taken away from me!
• My memories of feeding ducks with Memaw cannot be taken from me.
• My memories of sitting at her yellow kitchen table in her tiny little kitchen eating breakfast cannot be taken away from me!
• I will never forget the time I interviewed her for a school project and had the opportunity to ask her questions I never would have asked her otherwise.
• I will never forget how scared I was the time I walked in on her laying in the floor because her blood sugar had gotten too low. Thankfully, all she needed was a candy bar. But, I was only 10 or so and I was scared.
• The way that Memaw said my name just warms my heart! No one can say it like her - even when they try. And, I also won't forget that she usually called me Carol, Peggy, or Tracey BEFORE she said my name! Ha!
• I will never forget how she used to light up when I would walk in the room and clap her little hands together in joy - it's an image that cannot be taken away from me.
• I will never forget how no matter what she was doing or what she had to do or what was on her agenda - if one of her grandchildren came downstairs to be with her - she stopped whatever it was. She loved us and that cannot be taken away!
• I will never forget how she gave me one of her old bowling balls but then asked for it back when she needed a lighter ball so she could continue bowling :-)
• I will never forget going bowling with her and how she insisted I get to use the bumpers in the lanes so I could get a better score.
• I will never forget how shocked I was when I learned that she had to give herself shots everyday because of her diabetes.
• I will never forget how right before I left for Italy for 3 months in college - she told me NOT to fall in love with some "eye-talian."
• I will never forget how beautiful she looked at my wedding.
• She just cannot be taken away from us.

I could seriously just go on and on. But, most importantly I will just never forget my Memaw. I will never forget how my mom and my aunt have taken such incredible care of her in the last few months when she got so weak and so sick. I will always wish for one more moment, one more smile, one more hug, one more kiss, one more time to hear her say my name, one more picture, but I will just cling to the ones I have. I will cling to the images I have. I will celebrate that she is standing tall with a straight back (no longer bent from terrible scoliosis) and with no diabetes and no heart failure. I like to imagine her in Heaven sitting in the arms of Jesus hearing him say, "well done." I then like to imagine her bowling a perfect game and eating all the food she wants regardless of it's sugar content. And, lastly - I just want to celebrate that she doesn't have to have shots everyday anymore!!!!!

Memaw, I love you! Thank you for 31 years of being my Memaw! I am glad that no one can take that away from me!