Restless

Tatum likes to squirm! When she is awake she is constantly moving. Her arm and leg movements are still spontaneous and non-voluntary so she has a problem.....she hits herself. She bonks herself in the head quite often and then she cries. It breaks my heart because there is no way to stop it and there is nothing to do for it except love on her until she stops crying. When it is clear that Tatum is tired.....she begins to cry a very specific cry. The trick to getting her to sleep is holding her really really really close and patting her on the bottom until she FINALLY gives up and stops wiggling. Then she will drift off into blissful and peaceful sleep. Then, we can lay her down for a little while in her crib where she will enjoy her sleep (and during the day.........I go in and look at her about a billion times just to watch my sweet sleeping baby).

Jack did the same thing as a baby to the best of my memory. And, Jack still likes to squirm. In the mornings he will come crawl into bed with us but he CANNOT be still! I will beg and beg him to just be still so I can get a few more minutes of sleep but he just can't do it UNLESS.....I wrap my arms around him and basically hold him down (I promise this isn't in a mean way.....it's very cuddly).

So, why is it that they squirm? I don't really know. I could give you the scientific answer of the fact that babies have immature nervous systems, but I don't really want to go there. I'm really wondering why we do the same thing with God? He tries to hold us so we can rest and so we can have peace but we just can't be still. We are too distracted. We move too much. We worry too much. And, sometimes with our movement comes pain. It's really sad that we won't just give up and allow God to hold us close without fighting him. Then, once that blissful and peaceful rest in the Lord comes......He can lay us down again and let us enjoy our peace-filled life! He will never be too far away watching and guiding each and every step.

I must confess I have been restless. I need to stop it. I need to quit. I need to give up and just allow my Lord to hold me so I can rest. I need to shut off MY brain and allow God's wisdom to prevail. The Word of God has spoken to me lately. I hope that it can speak to you too.

Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Moses spoke these words to the Israelites right before they crossed the Red Sea on dry ground. They were afraid because the Egyptians were now following them and trying to bring them back to Egypt where they were enslaved. They were angry. They were mad. But, God did their fighting for them. They just had to trust him.

Psalm 84 1-2; 10-12 How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

I was recently reminded about this scripture by my dear friend Emily. As I face difficult decisions and become more and more restless..........I am reminded that my only goal is to be with the LORD Almighty. My only goal is to be in HIS presence. And, when I am striving for that - He will not withhold good things from me. If something is good for me and good to bring God glory (thus being good for me)......that is what will be. I cannot change that with any amount of squirming I do because based on my cries - God knows what I need.

And finally...

Psalm 121: 3-8 He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you - the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Our God is watching us. He likes to look at us about a billion times each day, especially when we are resting in him. He likes to see us full of peace. He likes it when we are still. Yet, when we squirm - He will hold us really close and help us find that rest.

Blessings to you. May you find rest in the Lord. I am going to bed now in peace knowing that my God doesn't sleep. He doesn't slumber. He is always watching over me!